We knew that we did not want to spend a lot of money on the ceremony venue which meant rolling up our sleeves to find other available options. The first step was to talk to our friends in Columbus. Where did they get married? If it was in a church, were they members? What were the fees? What did the fees include (officiant, lighting, sound, janitorial work, rehearsal, counseling, etc.)? Did they have any other recommendations for possible ceremony sites? Unfortunately, most of our friends are younger and have not yet walked down the aisle. The few who are already married, were either members of the church already, weren't members of the church but did not mind paying large fees, or got married in their back yard.
None of this was very reassuring to me. I trusted my friends' information, but I still had not found a good solution to our problem.
After turning to our friends didn't pan out, I searched the website The Knot. The Knot has regional sections with vendor information listed. I noticed that the ceremony and reception venues were not separated out into two different lists. In fact, there was not a single church listed in the ceremony/reception venue category. This got me thinking--who said we had to get married in a church? Just because it had always been done in my family didn't mean that a church was the only option.
In fact, there could be many advantages of not getting married in a church. If our reception venue could double as our ceremony site, we could bring in our own officiant (aka one of our pastor's from our childhood church) which is an idea we love. Elderly guests wouldn't have the added stress of traveling to another venue. Out of town guests wouldn't have to worry about getting lost driving to the reception. We wouldn't have to hire separate musicians for the ceremony and reception. And, of course, it could save us money.
However, I still wasn't sold on the idea. After all, what would people think? I logged into a local wedding message board and posed the idea to the other planning brides there. As it turns out, a large number of brides are doing the same thing! In fact, many age old traditions are being thrown out the window--which I love. Why do you have to start your ceremony on the half hour? Who says a groom can't see the bride before she walks down the aisle? And do you really need to play the Chicken Dance??
This was all the push I needed. I talked with the event coordinator at our reception site if she could send me any information about holding a ceremony there too. She was only too happy to oblige! She had numerous pictures of past layouts which she sent to me and let me know that I could rent out the space for an extra hour for only $200.
My fiance and I forwarded on the information to our parents who wholeheartedly approved of the plan. And just like that, all of the stress about finding a church for the ceremony evaporated. From the people I talked with (both in person and online), I am confident that we made the right decision and everything will turn out beautifully.
Through this process, I really learned how valuable an online community can be. I had never thought of myself as the type of person who would post on message boards, but when my friends and family were unable to help, I was able to turn to a group of strangers to find the advice that I needed.
Additionally, this process reaffirmed that I am a a thorough information seeker. I am not going to be satisfied with the results until I have exhausted all of the search possibilities. If that were not the case, I would've settled for a costly church after talking with my friends. Fortunately, I like to dig deeper and look at multiple angles of a situation.
Now I just have to wait until next year to see how the big day turns out!
Websites:
- www.theknot.com
- http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus
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